That moment I realized I was in debt to her

“That moment I realized I was in debt to her.”

My brother said it quietly, almost to himself, as he drove.

My niece’s nanny had just resigned. On her last day, the imonim(the Korean term for a caregiver, used with the affection of calling someone ‘auntie’) broke down in tears. My little niece had grown attached to her—and she to my niece.

Despite all the sleepless nights over the past few months, she sat there crying, murmuring again and again how much she would miss her.

For my brother, something shifted in that moment. “I knew I was in debt,” he said. “The imonim had given so much more than anything written in the contract.”

It stayed with me. I didn’t understand why at first. But later, stting at a cafe in front of Gate 34 at Gimpo Airport, it came to me: I was in debt too.

Midyear review season had come around, and I’d had the chance to write feedback for the people I work with. Looking back on how one person in particular had shown up, I saw endeavor after endeavor that went far beyond the job description—and I had been on the receiving end of that “beyond” more times than I could count.

When I finally hit send, it was 2am in a hotel lobby. And yet I felt more energized than when I’d sat down.

Even now, writing this, a few more names come to mind—people I owe more than I’ve ever said. The least I can do is put it into words and send my gratitude. 🙏