From Logistics to Connection: Why I "Designed" My Birthday This Year
Yesterday, twenty-one friends gathered at a Beijing Duck restaurant in Ginza to celebrate my birthday.
I have a habit of hosting somewhat oversized birthday parties, but this year, I found myself questioning the tradition more than usual. I asked myself: Why go through all this work?
• I know many of my friends are introverts who would prefer a smaller, more intimate gathering.
• In a large group, it’s nearly impossible to spend quality time with everyone.
• The logistics of coordinating a 23-person dinner are, frankly, a massive undertaking.
As I sat with these thoughts, the answers surfaced quickly. My "why" was clear:
• To use my birthday as an opportunity to connect the people I love and care about.
• To deepen my own understanding of those same people.
Once I clarified these intentions and wrote them down, the next steps felt much more natural. I began to wonder: How can I nudge people to truly get to know one another? And how can I learn more about them in the process?
To solve this, my wife and I designed custom name cards for each guest to spark more interesting conversations.
On the front, we created custom stamps representing:
• Shared Memories: Icons of Fuji hikes, campfires, BBQs, and board game nights.
• Personal Identities: Our understanding of that friend’s hobbies, such as kickboxing, yoga, or trivia.
On the back, we printed three "Missions":
- Ask someone you don’t know well how they first met the host.
- If you already know everyone at the table, find the weirdest job, hobby, or experience someone there has ever had.
- Send Yeop a message suggesting an icon or "badge" you think is currently missing from your card.
With three round tables and several intentional seat swaps, we made it happen. I can honestly say it was the most effort I’ve ever spent preparing for a birthday—but it was also the most engaging and connected celebration I’ve ever had.
A few fun facts I walked away with:
• Two nationality updates.
• One wedding announcement.
• Hidden histories: A friend shared stories from their time studying abroad in Thailand.
• Surprises: I thought it was common knowledge, but an entire table was shocked to learn that one of our friends has actually published a book.
It turns out that even with a big group, you can still find those small, meaningful moments if you design the space for them.
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