Art of having a joyful weekend
As I have deligently recorded my mood over the past 12-13 years, having a good, joyful day seems more like a technique rather than a lucky draw. Especially on a weekend when I have more control over how I spend time.
What Brings Joy
Although it would be quite ambitious to try to tick off all the boxes, these are things that have contributed in having a joyful day.
Getting the Start and finish right
- good sleep
- good hydration
- going to bed before 1am
- getting out of bed before 9am
- taking care of dental hygiene
- flossing before going to bed
Building connection
- going out on a date with my wife
- having a meal with a friend or friends
- call with a friend or family who does not live near by
Moving
- 10-20 minutes of training
- push ups, pull ups, goblet squats
- Yoga
- 30 minutes walk
- cleaning the house
Finding meaning and growth
- create something, write
- read or listen to a good book
- learning
Is there anything that either makes all the other joy bringing behaviors easier?
Yes, by far going to bed before 1am.
I am the type who can easily stay up until 4,5 am reading novels and playing games so 1am is my 'realistic' goal that I have been able to somewhat stick to.
The only exception would be having such strong desires to create something, write something that I cannot go to bed. Then, I would wake up and gratefully succumb to whatever is calling me to get out of bed.
In general, getting the morning routine right is key.
Designing environment that encourages myself to do exactly what will bring joy
Even this morning I did not 'feel like' doing many of the above listed things that I 'know' that will bring joy. I belive this is often the case for many of you. I cannot be a dictator to myself. Myself will always rebel against tyranny and it is invariably a battle that I will lose and lose badly. Hence the need to negotiate with myself and set up the right environment so that I am more inclined to behave in a way that will bring joy as a result. Kind of like playing teh game SIMs right? If you want the characters to do something you want them to, you have to set the environment.
Alarms
I have set 3 alarms.
Everyday 0:00 get ready to go to bed
Weekday 8:00 get out of bed
Weekend 9:00 get out of bed
Hydration
I wished I loved drinking plain water, I don't. What has helped me to stay hydrated is having something in the fridge that I actually enjoy that is hydrating and not damaging to health.
Sparkling water ready in the fridge
with some cut lime in it even better
I find it tastes even better in a stainless cup
LMNT supplement
The cost adds up, but I enjoy it quite a lot, and easy to drink 500-700 ml in the morning while journaling. Sometimes saves me from taking sugary drinks of diet sodas at night as a pleasure drink substitute.
Connection
Being intentional about building meaningful connections with friends, and planning ahead.
My go-to inventory looks something like this.
Often group acitivites with movements(group yoga) catches 2 birds with one stone!
Thanks to a close friend who started organizing classes, joining 1-2 yoga classes a month have been a healthy and joyful addition to my routine.
| Connection | couple | friends | alone |
|---|---|---|---|
| Morning, Afternoon | cafe date bakery shopping - picnic at a park (less likely) gallery, exhibition |
brunch group yoga board game (less likely) gallery, exhibition |
joining a meetup joining a group class meeting people at a local cafe |
| Evening | evening park walk cafe date reading together movie night Korean TV series night |
home party movie nights board game nights |
same as above |
Movement
I used to go to gym 3-4 times a week as a university student, but after working full time I found it quite challenging to keep up. Also, I had a tendency to ego lift if I train in front of many people which sometimes was a health risk. Hence, training at home has been perfect in that I am less likely to miss a workout and I am not trying to show off.
I also made sure to mark 2 pull up bars that are within 10 minute walk from home. If the weather is pleasant I prefer to do it at parks.
How to deisgn a full day
Too much is often worse than too little. I have learend although I do enjoy meeting people very much, having multiple plans throughout the day with friends kind of takes the joy away from being fully present in one. Also, just a matter of limited energy as well.
I often go with the following few patterns.
| Connection | pattern1 (balance, socializing with friends in the evening) | pattern2 (balance, socializing with friends in the morning to early afternoon) | pattern3 (more date centric) | pattern4 (group activities) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Booting routine | wake up drink a cup of either LMNT or soda water with lime journal while hydrating quick clean of the house |
wake up drink a cup of either LMNT or soda water with lime journal while hydrating quick clean of the house |
wake up drink a cup of either LMNT or soda water with lime journal while hydrating quick clean of the house |
wake up drink a cup of either LMNT or soda water with lime journal while hydrating quick clean of the house |
| Morning, Afternoon |
Morning Cafe date/ brunch date Read a little at the cafe Picnic date. (bakery shopping - picnic at a park) Workout at home or on the way back If feel like it 20-30 minute nap. Quality alone time -reading -gaming and listening to podcast -writing |
Brunch with friends. Picnic with friends. (bakery shopping - picnic at a park) Workout at home or on the way back If feel like it 20-30 minute nap. |
Morning Cafe date/ brunch date Read a little at the cafe Picnic date. (bakery shopping - picnic at a park) Go to an exhibition or a movie date |
Morning Cafe date/ brunch date Read a little at the cafe Picnic date. (bakery shopping - picnic at a park) Yoga class with a couple of friends |
| Evening | Home party with friends -boardgame night -themed party(e.g. beer tasting night) -movie night |
Make dinner with wife Evening stroll (park, riverside) Evening cafe date Quality alone time -reading -gaming and listening to podcast -writing |
Make dinner with wife Evening stroll (park, riverside) Evening cafe date Quality alone time -reading -gaming and listening to podcast -writing |
Dinner with Yoga calssmates and wife whenver she wants to join Quality alone time -reading -gaming and listening to podcast -writing |
The principle that is working for me most of the times is, balancing
quality alone time, date(romance). friendship.
One of the above three can be the focus of a day but, making sure to at least have quality blocks of at least 2 of the above with some movements contribute in having a joyful day.
How does it often go wrong
Excessiveness
Packing in too much plans in one day.
I have made multiple mistakes of planning to meet 2 different friends during one day consecutively. My takeaway is just 'don't do it'. It is no way to respect the other person as well.
Taking too much caffeine.
Love spending time at cafes especially with high ceilings and delicious pastries. However, for me if I have more than one coffee it really deteriorates the whole experience. I can hear my heart pounding due to the caffeine in-take. I make sure to take de-caf if I do happen to have more than one cup at this point.
Overeating.
This is always a struggle, but if I over eat, I cannot focus on anything. It all becomes lethargic and sleepy for the following 2-3 hours or even more. Trying to avoid this.
Attention seeking traps
The world we live in is an attention economy. Ads are everywhere, contents are getting ever more extrememe and attention seeking, news are becoming more and more preposterous just to get more clicks. Youtube Shorts, instagram, Tiktok.
There are world class intellgent people who are getting paid 400-500k USD a year developing the best way to catch our attention. I don't think I have the will power to fight against it. My tactic is to design my environment to avoid as much as I can.
- I try not to carry my phone to the toilet when I have to sit on the throne.
- I have set access limits on my phone and browser for youtube from midnight to 11am.
I know I am going to have a bad day if I start watching youtube shorts on the couch in the morning.
The app I am using to control access with time configuration is 'Blocksite' - I generally do not follow news on purpose.
Besides reading my industry specific news on Linkedin I go nowhere near the news platforms.
Closing remarks
Your joyful weekend might look quite different than mine. I believe mine might as well look quite differnet as time passes by. This post will be something that I will revisit and update where needed as time goes by. Joyful life sounds grandiose but in the end it is a life consisted of many joyful days. I can start by making the weekends joyful and then look at what could be done during weekdays as well.
12 October 2024,
Yeop